How boudoir can change the way you look at yourself
It’s the month of September and change is in the air… Autumn is on it’s way and, if I’m honest, this is my favourite time of year to photograph Boudoir. There’s something I find so creative and personal about a client bringing in an oversized jumper and/or shirt, whether it be there’s or a loved ones, slipper socks and embracing that autumn rainy day feel through the textures knitwear naturally promotes.
In the last month, I had an enquiry on our Facebook page, underneath a video of recent client’s shoots, that simply said “why”. I’ll be honest, I was really pleased that they’d asked that question as it gave me a chance to educate both Derbyshire and the wider world about Boudoir. At the start of the summer many people saw the BBC article on our studio, our clients and why “boudoir” can fulfil a service people (mainly women) want to help their self esteem and self confidence. I’ll be honest, this article stemmed for a blog I wrote, earlier in 2021, about the social media giant, Facebook, categorising the genre of boudoir photography "as “porn”. I was so angered as not only had they completely misunderstood this genre of art but they’d also categorised one of my #BBBY real women, a survivor of cancer following a single mastectomy plus various treatments and therapies, under the category of porn.
Boudoir is a form of self expression. It’s a form of art therapy. Bear with me whilst I put my scholar hat on (BA Hons Creative Expressive Therapies, from Derby University to be precise!) and try and explain a theory or two…
We work with our clients, at our studio here in Belper ten miles north of Derby, to create an image that they feel represents them and the journey that they have been on, so far, in life. In life, we all where so many badges that, sometimes, it’s easy to get lost - parent, partner, co-worker, friend and then chuck in a couple of life’s curve balls - illness, divorce, abuse (from others or individuals) - and many talk about losing that sense of self.
Then you’ve got the western shift, in the last ten to fifteen years of representing yourself, visually. There are so many dam filters that encourage us to create fictitious versions of our real self… Then add in the need to photograph “positive moments” and plaster them on our social media - from a home cooked meal through to that all expenses paid dream holiday - and there becomes a moment within the human nature that wants to become those visions - become somebody elses perception of life which then can have a negative impact on our own self belief.
It’s a well known fact that self belief can affect our own behaviour. If we lack confidence, in passing an exam for example, those who believe they will fail a test might not study because they do not believe that studying will make a difference for them. Or they might become so stressed and anxious while taking the test, because they are convinced they cannot pass, that they do not perform well. In summary, the anxiety levels rise. Their initial belief––their perception that they could not pass––led to behavior that makes the belief become a reality.
Now project that into everyday and it's easy to sometimes forget who we are and feel a bit lost within our own surroundings because our day to day social interactions can, almost, suppress our own expression. I describe it as a dark cloud or fog and needing to find a way through. One key thing to remember, though, is that your personal identity is never static - it will always be evolving throughout life. You won’t be the same 18yr old by the time you reach 50, for example. It’s why, in our work, we focus so hard and promoting self care. Self care can lead to self confidence and self confidence can lead to wonderful things - from positive forms of self expression and acceptance through to creating fab goals that you then achieve and succeed. This is a fabulous cycle as the more confident you are the more challenges you set and, as a result, the positivity allows you to achieve.
My role at #BBBY is to create a space in which you feel able to express who you are and create a moment where you feel able to go “this is me”. Not only do you feel able to go “this is me” but then feel confident enough to allow the your community to see it - alongside whichever role you choose to present at the time. Sounds scary? Sounds awesome! Let’s take inspiration from children for a second… When a child creates a “masterpiece” whether it be a blob of playdoh, a scribble on paper or glue covered loo roll covered in glitter they show it with pride. It doesn’t matter what materials they’ve used, or how “abstract” it may look, they have created it and they’re confident enough to be able to say to the world “I made this and it’s cool”.
Why, as adults, should we be any different? You don’t need to be wonderfully creative you just need to feel confident enough to express. Just because we take on a role doesn’t mean you have to suppress your identity/personality/humour/overall look.
This is what BBBY is all about - finding the confidence to wear your personality. This is where our company name “Be Bold Be You” comes from and our tagline “everybody else is already taken” (thanks Oscar Wilde!).
I hate the phrase “mailing lists”… It sounds so robotic and impersonal. How about penfriends? I get that choosing to have a Boudoir Experience is not an overnight decision so let’s stay in touch and when you’re ready to book your Be Bold Be You moment, it’ll just be like picking up the phone to a friend.
Kirsty