I’ve offended Facebook
Yup - apparently I have offended Facebook. Despite their HQ being down to a third of its staff, due to the pandemic, and most of its business “support” being given by “bots”, I have managed to offend the social media giant and it’s invisible office. (High five anyone?!)
(by the way, the image on the left isn’t ours but I seriously wish it was!)
It turns out that images of women, being allowed to embrace their curves, quirks and qualms so much that they’re able to leave with a new found self confidence and, dare I say, acceptance of their day to day life, is classed as “porn” to this ill educated and archaic viewed billion dollar platform. So, it got me thinking - are we porn?
I’ll be honest - I didn’t take long on reflecting on this statement… The answer is most definitely no - we’re not! Even darling Wikipedia, doesn’t quite understand… It defines Boudoir as “…a photographic style featuring intimate, sensual, romantic, and
sometimes erotic images of its subjects in a photographic studio, bedroom or private dressing room environment, primarily intended for the private enjoyment of the subjects and their romantic partners”. Yes - Boudoir is an intimate experience. Sensual - quite possibly depending on your reasons… Romantic? Well, this depends who you are doing it for and erotic - that depends, again, on the what and who you are doing it for as well as the artistic style of your photographer. HOWEVER, is the “primary reason”, and soul purpose of Boudoir Photography, purely to aid the “private enjoyment” of a third party? I can only draw the conclusion that this has been written by some sort of content writer and not someone who understands Boudoir, never mind the even bigger subject of portrait photography as a whole.
The issue, I feel we have here, is a lack of education. Boudoir photography is so much more than taking your kit off. Hell, we have an entire shop based shelf dedicated to what would have been referred to as “page 3”back in the day - would this be referred to as Boudoir now? I can guarantee it wouldn’t within our industry and I would place a rather large bet that general public would feel there is a difference too, just by looking at the imagery. If you have been bold enough to embrace such a shoot I think you’d be able to agree that a Be Bold Be You Boudoir Experience is about as far from page 3 as you could get, and that’s just based on the outfits we advice our clients to bring, never mind their reasons for wanting to do this genre of photoshoot. You only have to look at our imagery, or “meet” some of our #BBBY tribe, via our Facebook group, to realise this is so much more than just another photoshoot.
As a few may know, I have a degree in Creative Expressive Therapies, and truly believe in the positive effect therapeutic arts can bring to individuals. Although I’d never class the work of #BBBY as a form of therapy, we’d be naive to overlook the therapeutic principles such an experience can bring to a subject being photographed in the genre of “Boudoir”. For example, professional photographer Jo Spence began as a portrait and wedding photographer. Later on, in her short life, she was diagnosed with breast cancer… Would you class Spence’s images as Boudoir? There are boobs, there are beds and there’s skin - a lots of it. I doubt anybody could but it under Boudoir’s stereotypical definition… So what would you call a photograph of a cancer survivor, for example, embracing their new figure as a survivor of such a disease?
Let’s take the word cancer away for a second and look at an individual who suffers with body dysmorphia… What about a survivor of domestic abuse? Both of which we have had at our studios. Do they deserve the title of "Boudoir”, “page 3” or “porn”? It’s a pretty horrific thought - isn’t it, putting such a survivor in to the category of porn? Well this is exactly what Facebook has done.
Just as a side note, this lady is called Michelle. Also known as an NHS worker, mum of 3, wife and leukaemia beater. I’m just saying…………
Our work, at Be Bold Be You, uses the genre of Boudoir Photography to empower women. Men are welcome too but, if I’m honest, we’ve only ever had two come forward wanting this type of shoot and only one found the confidence to book in.
Funnily enough, I did a magazine interview last week (due to be published early summer, I think) where I was asked if Boudoir could be classed as anti-feminist. I’ve never had this pointed out to me, before and it’s an interesting take to have. What I can say is that #BBBY doesn’t seem to fit into our industry’s definition of Boudoir because we don’t seem to attract those that Wikipedia defines, within their explanation of Boudoir Photography. At #BBBY our clients are mainly women, needing a “this is me” moment. It’s not about other people. It’s about taking time for you and if the individual needs to take time, for them, and do a #BBBY Boudoir Experience in order to mark a new chapter in their life, or even sign off an eventful part of their life, then would you tell them they’d be making porn? No, I really don’t think you would (and if you did, we need to have a serious chat sometime…)
I hate the phrase “mailing lists”… It sounds so so robotic and impersonal… How about penfriends? I get that choosing to have a Boudoir Experience isn’t an overnight decision so let’s stay in touch and then when you are ready to book your Be Bold Be You moment, it’ll just be like picking up the phone to a friend.
Kirsty