Creating memories, this Christmas
My sister and me (she still has awesome hair)
I’ve always had a bizarre relationship with Christmas, of it being extremely busy in my childhood and as I got older it being more quiet and still. As a young child there was always a “buzz” as my parents tried to squeeze around ten people into the same house to live & sleep for a few days. It was a bi-annual tradition where my mum and my auntie would take it in turns to host the rest of the family either at our home in West Yorkshire or down south in Berkshire. As I got older, this tradition changed… The “magic” began to fade and family gatherings would be held differently with my Grandpa, coming to stay from Northumberland or, in later years, us visiting him on Boxing Day.
Roles in the house changed too, as my elder sister moved out with my, now, brother-in-law and my mum ordained and became a vicar (it turns out they don’t just work Sunday’s and Christmas can be a busy time of year - who knew!). As my sister started her own family, and mum had her parishes to attend to Christmas mornings became time for me and my dad. It became slower & calmer. At the time I used to silently accept that the stereotypical notion of christmas, including the ripping open of presents and sharing a meal, wouldn’t start until mum got home from work (normally having had a small amount of sleep between Christmas Eve services, midnight mass and christmas day morning) but as time has gone on, and James and I have gone on to create our own christmas traditions for our young family, it’s made me realise that a slower pace made everyone “present” at christmas.
Our girls decorating our “December” tree, this year
My dad would prepare the veg on christmas day morning, whilst mum was at work. Mum would normally be home by midday and my sister would arrive early afternoon with her, then, young family. It felt slow but calm which was lovely. We’d then open presents and enjoy a traditional christmas dinner, with far too many sides, which we then ate in various, reformed ways, over the rest of the week between christmas and new year! It was systematic, and almost robotic like on how it repeated but this was our tradition until I moved to Derbyshire over 13 years ago.
Fast forward a few years and I’m now a mum of 3, wife & business owner. It’s hard to juggle the time each of these newer roles need… Ensuring James & I get some none based work & kids time (which I’ll be honest, we haven’t, yet, achieved!) ensuring our three girls feel loved & fulfilled and making sure that our work and business continues to succeed to support our family. One of the things that christmas has taught me, though, is to accept the gift of “time” together. It’s so important to embrace the extra days, events and opportunities that we are given at this time of year. When I look back on my childhood, I don’t remember what I was given (that’s a lie… Gymnastic Barbie was amazing but she is all I remember receiving, from Santa!) I remember my seamstress Auntie creating me something, from a 101 dalmation inspired hat through to a hand stitched stocking, of mice working away in a christmas scene underground, which is still proudly presented, every Christmas. I remember how it was spent, in the build up to the 25 December. I remember driving around in my dad’s car (as it had a sunroof and I used to lay down so I could see the lights from below!), at nighttime & in pyjamas, going to see the Christmas lights in Leeds city centre. I remember our house having an unspoken “closed” sign on it from around 5pm on Christmas Eve and preparing everything for the days that were to come. Our annual “Boxing Day” picnic was, and still is, a firm favourite! I have an amazing photograph, somewhere, of my Uncle John sat in foldable deck chair with his coat buttoned up to his ears, hat and glass of wine on the Yorkshire Moors! He looks absolutely freezing but very happy with his glass of Red! Yup, we were that family that took a ginormous picnic in the boots of the cars, drove for miles and parked up come rain, snow or shine…. We ate leftovers, they drank wine out of those boxes with the stoppers and then we went for a walk before driving home again. Incidentally, my Grandad opted to stay at home with a plate of leftovers and the remote but I always got a warm hug when we got back!
I hope that I’m able to create memories for my girls and James… I hope that our girls will cherish the image of their dad, every year, carrying the Christmas tree up the Spanker Lane, from the garden centre at the bottom of the hill, to where we live today. We drive around Belper looking at Christmas lights on the estates. We embrace Christmas Eve as time for our team of 5, normally heading to a park for a walk/run around and alternate between grandparents every Christmas Day. Boxing Day picnics are more of a “Johnson” thing but the Corbett’s have embraced a couple over the years! They have Izzy the Christmas elf, Christmas crafts & our annual Christmas card photoshoot to enjoy creating. James’ family have always played party games on Christmas Day and it seems both our girls and the Johnson side of our family will be carrying this tradition on!
I can’t wait to see, in 20 years, what they embrace as a Christmas tradition, taken from their childhood. Of course we have photographed every single walk, christmas tree, festive outing and gathering so they have memories that they can see, reminisce and cherish, may be with their own families one day. What I hope more than ever, however, is that they remember the time, including the love and the the warmth, that this time of year can bring and that those photographs will bring these feelings back for them, just as they have for me over the years.
Merry Christmas, everyone.