What is a comfort zone?
Have you ever felt like you’re standing still whilst the world continues to move forward, without you?
Do you feel like you’re lacking any drive or ambition?
Are you bored with the day-to-day but no idea how to find your own playtime, again?
If you answered YES to any of the above, then YOU have just defined the perimeters of the comfort zone!
I do love a good pumplin analogy at Halloween!
A comfort zone is mainly circumstantial, and rarely a personal choice. For some, it’s easiest to stay in this zone whilst others needs are met - parents and/or carers, for example. For others it may be due to a career needing them to stay in this zone or may be, still, an illness of our own - or somebody elses - has brough life to a bit of a stand still. Whatever the reason, it’s normally not down to our own personal decision making that we find ourselves at this zone.
So, how do we move out of our comfort zone?
With time. Patience. Trust. And a huge dose of self confidence. I’ll be honest, the zone immediately after comfort is the hardest one to work through and it’s referred to as “fear”. For most, it’s entering an unknown state and just the thought of entering an “unknown” can put many off wanting to move forward however by making the decision to go forward on this journey - and remembering to keep hold of the strength you have (and trust me, you do have it!) - you can start engaging change and a new chapter within your life. Let’s have a look at the first transition from comfort to fear…
Why is it important to push through the “fear zone”?
Let’s be honest, in the last 18months we have all been pushed out of our comfort zone thanks to covid-19 and the world wide pandemic. Lockdowns brought both happiness and misery as most were able to feel some sort of freedom in not having to stick to the same routine but, subsequently, the lack of routine led to dismay and a longing for a “normal”. If you, like me, were one of those that craved for the norm to return, what did you actually class as normal? Trips to the supermarket, the school run, an office to work from - for example. Did it include weekly house cleans, the loading of the dishwasher, ensuring all uniforms - whether it be yours or someone else’s - was ready for the same time, every week? May be you enjoyed the structure of that routine but I bet there were some “mundane” tasks that you really did not miss having to do. By being able to recognise those tasks that, perhaps, you chose to ignore out of the “normal” that was being missed, you had moved onto the next stage, “LEARNING”, which I’ll get to in a minute.
So, back to the question - why push through the fear? By being able to indentify the wall or stumbling block that’s holding us back you’re able to recognise what is stopping you from achieving something for your own self confidence, self care and/or self worth. There are so many, including me, that don’t realise there is a block in life that is making them unhappy. For others, it can be a landmark moment such as illness, relationship breakdowns, and/or abuse. By being able to identify these blocks, we can recognise the notion that leaves a negative impact on us - leading to the lack of learning, happiness and/or confidence - and instigate change for a happier you! Let’s be honest, opportunities to “learn” and play are all around us but grabbing hold of them can be difficult. As mentioned earlier, the journey from “comfort” to “fear” may not have been a personal choice. Most have been moved out of comfort - by the pandemic, illness, abuse, relationship breakdowns etc. - and left in the “fear zone”. When we feel at our most vulnerable, we can feel low. If we receive a sense of failure, from ourselves and/or other people’s perceptions, then our - already low - confidence takes a knock. This is why it is important to push through the next zone: “learning”.
How do we pick ourselves up and lift ourselves out of the fear zone?
Fab news! YOU have made the first decision for your own, positive, wellbeing - you want to move to a new chapter! As mentioned above, I see the “learning zone” as a playground. You can explore and by exploring you’ll be learning new skills whether this be in a job or for your own wellbeing. If you don’t hang on to this mindset then those feelings of “failure” will creep back very quickly. It’s a hard ride but you will get there. I’ll be honest, this stage is where most of our Be Bold Be You tribe contact us. They know they want change and they know they want to have a sense of confidence as well as their own identity back within their lives but the “how” can be hard!
In 2012, Nasim Taleb coined the phrase “antifragile” which was described as systems in which we “thrive and grow when exposed to volatility, randomness, disorder, and stressors.” It’s all very well people throwing around the phrase “resilience” but what if you just don’t know how to achieve it? Antifragile systems learn to grow from an experience in life. By stepping out of the comfort zone and battling through the fear zone you are learning from previous experiences to build your own system to learn and grow for your own, personal, development.
Have I gone too theory based? I am guilty of that (I have a degree in Therapeutic Arts and this kind of stuff is my passion!). Let’s go back to looking forward… We’re finding and regaining our confidence, self worth and self esteem through taking ourselves out of our comfort zone. You now need to believe in yourself to achieve your own goal. The goal has been made by you. It’s there to fulfil your own wants and needs. You’ve been on the journey. You battled through the fear zone and you’ve taken onboard so much in the learning zone. Now it is time to grow.
Image courtesy of Google
How does this fit into a Boudoir photoshoot?
Most of our clients contact us in the transition between the fear zone and learning zone. There is normally a bit of a wait between the client booking in with us and their chosen shoot date (we only photograph one client a day to guarantee our full attention in both the client and photographic detail). The client has, normally, identified why their self confidence has taken a knock (again - illness, relationship breakdown, loss of identity through caring of others and/or forms of abuse are common reasons for their journeys) and feel that a Boudoir Experience would help them find their confidence.
Most don’t realise that they’re going through this motion and we’re not here to put you into a “zone” or “category” but we do understand that a Boudoir photoshoot is not an overnight decision and, for many, it can be a huge leap of faith in both themselves and in us to feel able to book in and go ahead with this kind of photographic experience. I was once asked the simple word “why” and I was so glad they asked. I hold my hands up, Boudoir is not for everyone but for those who do find it will help ignite their self expression, feel a sense of freedom and a moment of acceptance - within themselves - to say “this is me” it’s a beautiful moment to both see as a professional and feel as a client. As mentioned earlier, the final stage, “growth” is where you’re able to “Be Bold” and “Be You”. To quote Oscar Wilde, “Be bold be you. Everyone else is already taken”.
